???

[chgorushfan]

okay here goes. Up until almost three years ago I was active. I was running around baseball fields with the kids, playing football, softball, wrestling around with the kids, doing anything I wanted. Then one day out of the blue I can't walk normal. Not pain that I can remember just not able to straighten my legs and walk upright without help. On vacation and being stubborn I refuse to go to a hospital because we are in the woods and went after three days I was fine again. I went to the doc when we got home and it happened again a couple of weeks later and then the pain started and it continuously got worse. The pain, the aches, the brain fog as they call it, and all the other symptoms of this Fibromyalgia.
I guess I refuse to believe I have it because I can't believe you can go from all this active ways one day to feeling this way the next without there being an accident or a test coming in positive...I guess like a scientific 'showing' of this.
I have a great support system here at home. My husband has been wonderful and basically I refuse to let it get to me. Yea there are days in my head I think mean thoughts and am really depressed but never say the things I am really thinking out loud to anyone. It seems the meds they keep trying are doing nothing - I refuse to take the hard stuff, the codeine and all that...basically because they all make me sick. Now the doctor is trying this biofeedback. I just go along with it all and if it works it works - as long as there are no needles involved and the insurance pays it - go for it.
But I just wish the pain would stop. I want to wake up in the morning and be able to walk to the bathroom without being in so much pain in my feet and legs. I want to have more than one good pain free day a month. I want to go back to work and enjoy life like I used to.
I'm sorry I sound like such a whiner. I just found this site and I don't know I just guess I still don't believe I have this but after this long if that is what they say then fine. I'm just having a bad day I guess. I can't wait for spring to get here.
Thanks for letting me post.
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chgorushfan

[Jessie]

I was also very active before fibromyalgia hit me. I was a dance teacher and taught and took classes four nights a week! I was fine one day. Had a very stressful experience. The next day I couldn't walk. I remember my whole body seemed to ache and burn. I described it as a cross between very sore muscles (like after a super hard work-out) and a really bad sun burn.

I didn't know what hit me. All I knew was that I hurt. I did get to a point though where I have some good days. Mostly I try to ignore the pain as best I can. I am able to still teach small children with the help of an assistant. I am not, however, able to take my classes anymore or teach advanced students. But, I keep going with what I can do. I find that if I try to move a little each day I feel better than when I do nothing.

I have read that a traumatic experience or illness or injury usually precede the fibromyalgia symptoms. I also read that most people can usually pin point what triggered it for them. I definitly know what it was for me--a very stressful day at work. Did you have any kind of experience like that before it hit you? I just wondered.

[chgorushfan]

No. I don't remember any stress or anything happening. We were on vacation having a good time. But then again we had two teenage girls with us so I'm sure there was some stress there...isn't there always when teenage girls are around.
I'm still basically in denial about this fibromyalgia. I just can't believe there is a syndrome or disease or whatever they call it that can't be diagnosed with a blood or urine test or mri or xray or any kind of test they have these days. That it's a syndrome that you can't see. I guess I'm more a scientific type person - I have to see it to believe it - yes even though I feel it every day of my life and I feel it big time I still have to see it to believe it. I want to see it on a test or a film.
One of these days maybe I will accept that I have it. For now I just deal with it. I only take meds at night to sleep and that is the lowest dose that they give. I refuse to take anything for the pain. I don't want to be on pain pills or drugged up and rely on the drugs to get thru the day. It's a pain in the ass but I push thru the day and I get make it thru. Some days are better then others but I look at it this way every day - there are so many more people out there that are worse then me....people who have cancer, ms, leukemia....I don't. I'm not dying I'm just in pain. I don't need a wheel chair I just need to walk slow.
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chgorushfan