Just Found This Forum

[lily64]

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed at 30 after having several autoimmune diseases already (crohn's, ITP, osteoarthritis) - I was working full time, in school full time nights, had 3 little sons (3,5 and 6 at the time), and was separated. I did not have time to be sick and I felt cheated and refused to believe that I could not beat it. I thought the Dr. had no clue and was guessing. As I got worse, I worried that my kids would never remember that vibrant person that I was and how would I ever be able to provide them with all they needed. How would I care for them? I was about 6 years sober at the time, and the pain and overwhelming depression nearly put me over the edge.

Now nearly 12 years later I am still here, very humbled by this disease and how difficult it has made my life, BUT I have also found some peace over the years, or I would have made my life and my family's miserable. My husband and I got back together, my 6 yo is now 18, graduated with honors from high school this June, going to college in a week, and all of my kids are doing pretty well, and I am just over 19 years sober. In part their success and happiness is due, I believe, because due to the level of my illness, I have had to work from home for a number of years, which has made me extraordinarily available to them. I am not able to play ball with them, run with them and do the physical things I always did, but I brought a chair and blankets and sat on the sidelines screaming at their football games for all 9 years of it, was here to help them with their homework and when a girlfriend or other issue comes up, I'm here. They have developed an amazing patience with my illness and rarely get upset because I cannot do something if I am having a bad time. I don't think they've ever said anything bad because I can't do something with them.

During this time, I have learned a new trade due to my physical restrictions. I spent the last 10 years developing web development skills, when I'm physically and emotionally able to work, I do, and have a pretty successful web design business, as well as mentoring small business startups on the side. When I'm not up to working, I read more about web development or just take a break for a day or two or however long I need to. I had to drop out of college and quit my job back then and I thought it was the end of the world, but I found out maybe it wasn't quite as bad as I thought. Economically it's been a huge challenge because there are long periods of time sometimes when I cannot work, but we've learned to live with less and we get by.

When I was 34, I had a daughter and she completed our family. I doubt we would have had another child if I'd not become ill, because I was on the career track when I got sick and was totally against having any more children.

So for those of you who are having a tough time, it is tough, very tough, but life can still be good... one day at a time. There is hope. On the good days, I do what I can - on the bad days, I relax, read or sleep and remember that I can only do what I can handle. It's the best I can do for me and my family. I no longer worry about what others think I should be able to do - that's not important. What is important is taking care of me so that I can care for those around me as best I can.

[cali_jo]

Your story is very similar to mine, except I just recently, in 2003, became unable to work and have not yet learned how to accept my situation. Reading your posting has let me know that I am not alone. Continued blessings to you and yours.

[cali_jo]

Your story is very similar to mine, except I just recently, in 2003, became unable to work and have not yet learned how to accept my situation. Reading your posting has let me know that I am not alone. Continued blessings to you and yours.

[cali_jo]

Your story is very similar to mine, except I just recently, in 2003, became unable to work and have not yet learned how to accept my situation. Reading your posting has let me know that I am not alone. Continued blessings to you and yours.